Can Adult Children, Grandchildren or a Caregiver Live With You in a 55+ Community?

Often yes for an adult child, and the community's documents decide. Federal law only requires that one person in the home be 55 or older, and each community writes its own rules for everyone else, such as a minimum age of 19. Grandchildren under that age can usually visit as guests but not live there, and a live-in caregiver under 55 who's needed because of a disability is specifically allowed by HUD's rule.

I'm Dennis Mark Interdonato with The Dennis Mark Group. When a buyer asks me "can my son live with us?", the answer is never in the brochure. It's in the master deed, the bylaws and the rules. Here's what federal law sets, what local documents add, and the questions to ask before you sign anything.

What does federal law say about who else lives in the home?

Less than most people think. A 55+ community qualifies when at least 80% of its occupied homes have at least one occupant 55 or older (24 CFR 100.305). HUD's rule also says a community may allow occupancy by families with children as long as it still meets the 80% test and its published intent to operate as 55+ housing (24 CFR 100.306(d)).

So federal law neither requires nor bans an adult child living with you. If you're 55 or older and live in the home, it counts toward the 80%. Everything past that is up to the community.

How old does an adult child have to be?

Whatever the documents say. Three examples from the published rules of age-restricted communities in Ocean County:

• Leisure Village West (Manchester): at least one occupant 55 or older, and no one under 19 may reside there (Leisure Village West).
• Four Seasons at Lakewood: at least one permanent resident 55 or older, and any children living in a home must be 19 or older (residents' handbook).
• Greenbriar Oceanaire (Ocean Township, Waretown): one child is permitted to live in the household if the child is at least 19 (Greenbriar Oceanaire).

Notice the third one limits it to one child. Small wording differences like that are why I never answer this question from memory. Read the rule for the community you're actually buying into.

Can grandchildren visit or stay over?

Visiting and living there are two different things. A minimum-age rule controls who resides in a home; guest rules control who visits, for how long, and which amenities they can use.

Guest rules are usually about the amenities. Four Seasons at Lakewood's handbook, for example, says guests under 16 must be with a homeowner at the courts and billiards, fitness center guests must be 18 or older, and pool rules are published each year with posted children's hours. It also lets residents keep an authorized guest list for family members and others who visit often, and limits street parking passes to 28 a year per home.

What the documents say about how long a guest can stay before the association treats them as living there varies. If summer visits are part of your plans, ask for that rule in writing.

Can a live-in caregiver under 55 live with you?

Yes, when the caregiver is needed as a reasonable accommodation for a disability. HUD's rule says a community still qualifies as 55+ even though some homes are occupied by people under 55 who are necessary to provide a reasonable accommodation to residents with disabilities (24 CFR 100.305(e)(4)). Refusing a reasonable accommodation in rules, policies or practices that's necessary for a person with a disability to use and enjoy the home is unlawful (24 CFR 100.204).

HUD and the Department of Justice add two useful points: a family member can make the request on the person's behalf, and a housing provider can't charge an extra fee or deposit as a condition of granting an accommodation (HUD/DOJ Joint Statement on Reasonable Accommodations). Make the request in writing to the association, and keep a copy.

What happens if an adult child moves in after you buy?

The association will find out. HUD requires communities to keep procedures for checking who occupies each home and to update them at least once every two years (24 CFR 100.307). Four Seasons at Lakewood's handbook, for one, refers to a census form kept for each resident. If a family member may move in later, read the rule now, while you can still choose a community whose rules fit.

Can an adult child own the home with you?

Yes. A 2024 Appellate Division decision held that New Jersey and federal law allow age limits on who occupies a home in an age-restricted community, not on who owns it (New Jersey Realtors v. Township of Berkeley). Who goes on the deed is an estate-planning question for your attorney. See buying or inheriting a 55+ home under 55.

What should you ask before you make an offer?

• The minimum age for anyone other than the 55-or-older occupant, and any limit on how many.
• The guest rules: overnight stays, length of visits, parking passes and amenity rules for guests.
• How the association handles a caregiver or aide.
• The occupancy form and how often it's updated.

Browse the age-restricted communities across Ocean and Monmouth County, and if you're selling a house to make the move, start with a free home value.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can my adult son or daughter live with me in a 55+ community?

Often yes, if you're 55 or older and live there and your child meets the community's minimum age. Several Ocean County communities set that minimum at 19. Check the documents for your community.

Can grandchildren stay with me in a 55+ community?

They can usually visit under the community's guest rules. Living there is different: a community with a minimum age of 19 won't allow a younger grandchild to reside in the home.

Can a caregiver under 55 live with me?

HUD's rule allows people under 55 who are necessary to provide a reasonable accommodation to a resident with a disability. Make the request to the association in writing.

Do all New Jersey 55+ communities have the same rules for adult children?

No. Each community writes its own rules for occupants other than the qualifying 55-or-older resident, so two communities in the same town can differ.

This is general information, not legal advice. Federal rules come from 24 CFR 100.204 and 100.305 to 100.307 and the HUD/DOJ Joint Statement; community rules come from each association's own published pages and handbook, all checked October 11, 2026. Rules change, so confirm with the association and your attorney before you buy.

About the author

Dennis Mark Interdonato is a REALTOR® and Master CDRE® who leads The Dennis Mark Group at Keller Williams Realty Ocean Living in Point Pleasant, NJ, helping buyers and sellers throughout New Jersey make their next move, with Monmouth and Ocean County as home base. Read more about Dennis Mark.

Keep reading

• Can a younger spouse live in a 55+ community in New Jersey?
• What is a 55+ community, and how do the rules work in New Jersey?
• The 80/20 rule explained
• Every community on one map: Adult Communities in Ocean and Monmouth County